real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
