so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
