nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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