I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize