he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
