fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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