I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
