Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
