my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
