found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
