oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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