Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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