What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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