That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
