New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
