If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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