I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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