p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
