I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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