i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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