ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
