i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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