i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
