Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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