Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We're not piercing ourselves today.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
