After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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