Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
