Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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