Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
