if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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