Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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