she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
