I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
