my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
