I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
