I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
