Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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