Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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