So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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