Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
