think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
