Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there was a trapeze. enough said
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize