He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
