TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
