will power is for people who don't want to get laid
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
