My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
