I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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