no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
