Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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