hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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