i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize