i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
