do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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