I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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