I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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