I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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