I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
