his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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