i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
