I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
