Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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