3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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