So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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