She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
