If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
