We named our party play list daddy issues
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
